Video Critique Number 5

Video Critique Number 5
October 1, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

Title: Halitophobia (from Vimeo)

56 seconds

http://vimeo.com/11480824

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11480824" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11480824">Halitophobia</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

This video is all about taking a simple idea and making an interesting visual presentation about it. In this case the idea involves the irrational fear of bad breath, also known as halitophobia, and presents the likely effects that might come as a result. The concept is cohesive and entertaining, and the artist over all executed the production well with good attention to detail and craft. The transitions are well done and the pacing is constantly changing, holding the viewer’s interest from start to finish. Furthermore, the type presents a clear informational hierarchy making the story easy to follow. However, while the tone/attitude of the piece is straightforward, instructional, and in your face, I feel that the color palette (aesthetically pleasing though it is) needs a bit more contrast and pop. Louder colors would help convey the message much better (right now the only loud color is red).

Another suggestion too is that there are several instances of “see and say.” The narrator talks about spoons and then a spoon appears on screen. The same is true for showing bad breath (narrator talks about bad breath and then a person taking a whiff shows up). There might be more visually interesting ways of depicting the piece in order to minimize instances of see and say. Overall I feel that there are also too many competing typefaces and treatments. I don’t understand why a serif is included in the piece when the language is so informal. Between bold, italics, serif, and san serif type there is too much variety going on that is not necessary and a bit confusing.

At 0:02 the spacing needs to be checked between groups of words like “How to,” “tell if you have,” and “Bad breath.” It seems inconsistent and “Tell if” is way too faint. Including it in a label and treating it like the other type around it would help.

At 0:04 the second gray bar under the type should connect either with the crossbar of the “H” or just with the H itself. Right now there is a sliver of negative space that isn’t doing anything and is not repeated elsewhere on the screen. Also at 0:04 it is a bit hard to see the name of the narrator because the color treatment consists of cream on yellow. More contrast could help solve this problem.

At 0:17 there ought to be more space under the word “You.” As it reads now there is not enough breathing room and things appear cramped. The amount of space to the left of “You” is greater than the allotted amount underneath.

At 0:16 the text, “Your breath smells like crap!” isn’t justified exactly. Each line should line up.

At 0:21 the type treatment is a bit strange (italics mixed with thick strokes). There should be more uniformity. Also the kerning between the letters in “How” is too spaced out. And the type that runs along inside of the arrow extends too far. Instead of going all the way to the edge the artist might reconsider stopping at the arrow’s hard right angle.

At 0:41 the text “Breath stinks” is not aligned properly.

At 0:49 the “&” enclosed in the gray box draws too much attention for something that isn’t that important.

At 0:51 the text “On your tongue” seems tacked on and not placed/designed very well. There are smarter ways of integrating type with image here.

At 0:54 the screen goes away too fast for the amount of type that is contains. It would be helpful to slow down the pacing/transition for this part so the viewer gets a chance to read the information.

At 0:56 the ending is abrupt and the type “Does she” is the only thing on the screen right aligned. Maybe consider force justifying it with the other type to tie everything together.

Video Critique Number 4

Video Critique Number 4
September 24, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

http://vimeo.com/11480679

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11480679" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11480679">We are all connected</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Title: We Are All Connected (from Vimeo)

1 Minute and 15 Seconds

In this video the artist’s main message is that things, no matter how different they at first seem, are really all the same and connected in some form or fashion. The concept carries through the entire presentation and the type and graphics accurately and meaningfully reflect it (they all have a role/purpose). The project itself is entertaining, sustains visual interest through great effects, good use of pacing (lots of dynamic zooms and camera angles), and attention to craft and detail. The combined use of illustrations mixed with typography and maps is a nice touch, adding multiple levels of hierarchy and information into the piece. Some of the images are a bit see and say but necessary in this case for the manner in which the artist is portraying her point. The style seems very appropriate, the informational hierarchy is easy to follow and understand, and over all the video is aesthetically pleasing and fun to watch. The sound effects are chosen well and further enhance the piece (especially in the intro with the walking footprints popping up on screen). In addition, the voiceover’s casual tone and lighthearted, matter of fact nature helps evoke the right response/feeling from the viewer.

There are not many things in this work that need fixing and those that do are minor, mostly dealing with better alignment. The quality of work is high and it is obvious the artist spent a lot of time fine tuning, constructing and deconstructing letters, and paid attention to time, space, and sound to make the work flow nicely. The feedback for areas of improvement are as follows:

At 0:01 the introduction screen could have larger type and the artists’ name would look better if justified with the title rather than merely centered (already close in set width).

At 0:11 “Is this” should line up with “Part” and there is a little too much space between “Part” and “Of.”

At 0:12 the slant of the “L” should be mimicked by the B in “Blanket.” The alignment looks awkward as it is now because we see a harsh vertical against an italics diagonal.

At 0:20 “Everything” ought to be aligned with “Nothing has been left out.” Optically this will look better when justified than as it is now.

At 0:33 the bulleted list needs to be centered vertically in relation to the picture drawing (there is more space beneath the list than above).

At 0:43 the placement of the type “Over here” seems forced/strange as it sits at right angles on a dotted line, creating weird gaps of negative space.

At 0:49 the “&” needs a better placement on which to sit than in the middle of a dotted line. Right now it looks tacked on (more consideration needs to be given to it).

At 1:00 the “Y” in “Exactly” and the “B” in “But” should align. The “B” currently extends beyond the natural threshold.

At 1:04 the words “Separate” and “Limited” should be paired up in alignment.

At 1:05 the serifs on the “T” would look better if aligned with the bottom of the illustration (again the artist seems to disregard some natural thresholds).

At 1:08 some things on the map lack any type in the middle of the connectors whereas others have it. There needs to be more consistency here.

At 1:10 the type would look better if there were not serifs on the lines linking “We are connected” (they seem odd and unnecessary).

Video Critique Number 3

Video Critique Number 3
September 17, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

http://vimeo.com/album/248210/video/11321555

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11321555" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11321555">Kinetic Typography - Idiocracy</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/nhcampbell">Nathan Campbell</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Title: Kinetic Typography – Idiocracy (from Vimeo)

38 seconds

This video is concept driven and done entirely through type. The story is intended to evoke a confused and frustrated state in the viewer. Basically there are two guys conversing. One of who is not listening to what the other has to say. The main voice sounds like a game show host as he tries but fails to figure out the name of the person he is talking to on TV. The way the artist goes about animating type is not see and say, but highly entertaining and captivates the viewer’s attention. Sound effects and voiceovers are done very well and certainly enhance the project’s message. The dynamic transitions, camera angles, and quick zoom in and outs help stimulate this interest and variety in the piece. The viewer can definitely sense the absurdity and the frustration of being ignored/labeled as just another face in the crowd (a mere number). In essence, the work confirms how the world has grown to be increasingly mechanical and impersonal.

Overall the piece is well crafted, the attention to detail is impeccable, the hierarchy of the text is legible, and there is a clear sense of what needs to be read first through change in type size and font. The pacing however could be slowed down at parts because it gets a bit difficult to read, especially towards the end when the text moves fast across the screen. However, this may be the intended purpose in which case it can be left as is. The color palette is far too quiet/muted for the message/tone. Rather than using a pale aqua, yellow, and red, the creator ought to bump up the saturation and brightness a bit to stimulate more of a game show feel and to accentuate the emotions being evoked.

Other suggestions are as follows:

At 0:02 there a bunch of gaps in the phrase, “As it appears on your,” which could be tightened, and it is confusing to have random phrases of words upside down when there is no repetition of this upside down type anywhere else in the work. Also the crossbar of the E in “Name” is not aligned with the crossbar of the T in “Current.”

At 0:10 the tracking between the words “Not Sure” is a bit too big. The gap could be narrowed a bit.

At 0:17 the space between the period after “Correct” and the “I” in “Is” is again too wide. Splitting up the word “Correct” into two lines seems strange too.

At 0:22 there is an awkward amount of negative space in the word “Not” and the bounding box it sits in. The “T” in “Not” should be aligned with the “D” in “Confirmed.” Currently it doesn’t line up with anything.

At 0:32 the gap between “Is” and “Complete” is far too wide in comparison to the width of white space between the words “Confirmation” and “Is”

At 0: 33 the “I” breaks away from the word “While” and makes for an awkward gap the rest of the time the word “While” appears on screen. This is true as well when the “A” breaks away from the word “Please” to form the word “Wait”. The artist ought to reconsider the transition sequence so that there aren’t missing letters within a word on screen.

Throughout the work the floating text that randomly appears on screen is also a bit distracting. It might be better to align them on a baseline or the background grid. Over all the work though the piece is strong and well executed.

Final DELL Video

DELL VIDEO for Critique 2

Video Critique Number 2

Video Critique Number 2
September 10, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11482829" width="400" height="338" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11482829">la biblioteca: two students explore alternative studying strategies for spanish</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

http://vimeo.com/11482829

Title: La Biblioteca (from Vimeo)

This video is about processing different kinds of information at once; in essence, how the brain can focus and make sense out of things as our eyes read one thing and our ears hear another. In this case we see English words on screen but we hear words spoken in the Spanish language. This constitutes for an interesting juxtaposition and an original concept. There is also a dynamic and pop art like quality to the piece, which is unique. The repetitive imagery of cameras and moustaches that appear on screen resemble an Andy Warhol silk screen. The transitions are fairly smooth, the music has a good, catchy beat, and the clip is entertaining to watch. Aesthetically it is well done but could certainly be tweaked a bit to make everything “pop” more. The ending feels a bit sudden/rushed though and there seems to be extra time latched on at the conclusion of the project (it concludes at 35 not 43 seconds). But the pacing works well and is easy to follow (not too rushed or slow) and the colors palette chosen is sophisticated and ties together nicely.

Some criticism is that there are far too many competing typefaces used in such a short clip, some of which don’t relate to the words being depicted on screen at all (randomly chosen). “Doll” and “disco” are the exact same size, color, and typeface, and yet have nothing to do with each other. A bit more manipulation could have occurred in the reconstructing/deconstructing of type and image rather than just having words slide in on screen. Also there is some evidence of see and say. For example, when the artist mentions a library, books are shown, and when he/she mentions disco, a disco ball appears. This could be avoided by using more interesting typography and other, less obvious illustrations to hint at the word being described.

At 0:06 the placement of the “is” appears strange because it enters the screen beneath the word “Where” from bottom to top when our eyes naturally read from top to bottom.

At 0:10 the word “spider” is not lined up with any threshold on the “Y’s” baseline (looks like the word is floating into space).

At 0:14 the phrase “big mustache” should have been aligned with the letter “r” in library
The placement of the phrase itself is confusing and lacks clarity (reads “is in big mustache” right now).

At 0:18 the word “Huge” followed by the tiny “little” is too stark of a contrast. The “little” gets lost altogether and is doesn’t remain on screen long enough for the viewer to notice the juxtaposition.

At 0:26 the leading needs to open up between the words Cameron and Diaz (far too tight right now and the words bunch together). Also “Diaz” is altogether too heavy in weight

At 0:29 there is an awkward negative space between the words “Yeah” and “Boi” and the big letter Z that it sits inside of. This could be fixed by aligning the type with a baseline and eliminating small gaps.

At 0:31, near the end of the show, the 2009 that runs across the screen is static/boring. Should reanimate it differently to leave a lasting impression. The texture is also a bit arbitrary (maybe do a mask and have one of the pop art images used earlier play as the text background).

DELL In Progress Video

Video Critique Number 1

http://vimeo.com/11480712

September 3, 2010

Title: Reservoir Dogs

This piece lasts for a good length of time, finishing at exactly 51 seconds. The subject matter centers on two men fighting over what color they want to be called at work and why some colors are more popular/better than others. Ultimately one of the guys is stuck with the name “Mr. Pink.” The concept is original and entertaining, the point is conveyed successfully, and overall there is a nice flow in pacing and transitions (not too choppy). The project is decently crafted without any typos (but there are small problems that ought to be addressed as mentioned below), and there are several dramatic zooms to keep the viewer’s interest.  The hierarchy is also successful because the typefaces and sizes chosen are legible and easy to follow (variety too). The pacing is slow enough for the viewer to be able to read all the text, but fast enough to make thoughts follow each other like in an actual conversation (good TSS). In fact, the pauses the artist has added into the presentation help create the casual, conversational tone. The artist didn’t resort to much see and say by utilizing a tie to represent different men rather than showing people in business suits. The typography is constructed and deconstructed in an appropriate manner also making the video fun to watch. Nevertheless, there are things to improve on including:

·       At 0:07 the narrator calls each tie by color name except for the yellow one, which he calls Mr. Blonde. There is a disconnect as to why the narrator doesn’t just say “Mr. Yellow” to keep things consistent.

·       At 0:18 seconds, the type between the big bold “A” is neither vertically centered or aligned with the A’s baseline (need some more attention to detail here).

·       At 0:23 there should be a change in type size, font, or color to separate the phrase “…Tried it once it doesn’t work” from “You got 4 guys…” because right now the two read together creating confusion.

·       At 0:26 – 0:29, when talking about “Mr. Black,” I think there are other visual ways to show the words interacting with each other that would be more visually compelling than simply circling around on screen.

·       Between 0:38 and 0:41 there is a very distracting and arbitrary brown dot scrolling across the screen. The dot appears to be a decorative element and doesn’t seem to fit in as part of the artist’s concept. The dot should just be removed.

·       At 0:40 there is an awkward space between the period after “Mr.” and the P in the word “Pink” as well as the period after “Mr.” and the P in the word “Pussy”. The extra white spaces should be tightened by tweaking the kerning.

·       At 0:51 “Mr. Purple” hangs off the left vertical axis of the “Y” instead of aligning to the right, which would look better (should take the spot the “is” is currently resting at). And once again there is an awkward space between “Mr.” and “Pink” that should be altered with tighter kerning.