Video Critique Number 5

Video Critique Number 5
October 1, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

Title: Halitophobia (from Vimeo)

56 seconds

http://vimeo.com/11480824

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11480824" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11480824">Halitophobia</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

This video is all about taking a simple idea and making an interesting visual presentation about it. In this case the idea involves the irrational fear of bad breath, also known as halitophobia, and presents the likely effects that might come as a result. The concept is cohesive and entertaining, and the artist over all executed the production well with good attention to detail and craft. The transitions are well done and the pacing is constantly changing, holding the viewer’s interest from start to finish. Furthermore, the type presents a clear informational hierarchy making the story easy to follow. However, while the tone/attitude of the piece is straightforward, instructional, and in your face, I feel that the color palette (aesthetically pleasing though it is) needs a bit more contrast and pop. Louder colors would help convey the message much better (right now the only loud color is red).

Another suggestion too is that there are several instances of “see and say.” The narrator talks about spoons and then a spoon appears on screen. The same is true for showing bad breath (narrator talks about bad breath and then a person taking a whiff shows up). There might be more visually interesting ways of depicting the piece in order to minimize instances of see and say. Overall I feel that there are also too many competing typefaces and treatments. I don’t understand why a serif is included in the piece when the language is so informal. Between bold, italics, serif, and san serif type there is too much variety going on that is not necessary and a bit confusing.

At 0:02 the spacing needs to be checked between groups of words like “How to,” “tell if you have,” and “Bad breath.” It seems inconsistent and “Tell if” is way too faint. Including it in a label and treating it like the other type around it would help.

At 0:04 the second gray bar under the type should connect either with the crossbar of the “H” or just with the H itself. Right now there is a sliver of negative space that isn’t doing anything and is not repeated elsewhere on the screen. Also at 0:04 it is a bit hard to see the name of the narrator because the color treatment consists of cream on yellow. More contrast could help solve this problem.

At 0:17 there ought to be more space under the word “You.” As it reads now there is not enough breathing room and things appear cramped. The amount of space to the left of “You” is greater than the allotted amount underneath.

At 0:16 the text, “Your breath smells like crap!” isn’t justified exactly. Each line should line up.

At 0:21 the type treatment is a bit strange (italics mixed with thick strokes). There should be more uniformity. Also the kerning between the letters in “How” is too spaced out. And the type that runs along inside of the arrow extends too far. Instead of going all the way to the edge the artist might reconsider stopping at the arrow’s hard right angle.

At 0:41 the text “Breath stinks” is not aligned properly.

At 0:49 the “&” enclosed in the gray box draws too much attention for something that isn’t that important.

At 0:51 the text “On your tongue” seems tacked on and not placed/designed very well. There are smarter ways of integrating type with image here.

At 0:54 the screen goes away too fast for the amount of type that is contains. It would be helpful to slow down the pacing/transition for this part so the viewer gets a chance to read the information.

At 0:56 the ending is abrupt and the type “Does she” is the only thing on the screen right aligned. Maybe consider force justifying it with the other type to tie everything together.