Video Critique Number 9

Video Critique Number 9
November 1, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

Title: Happenstance

1 Minute and 44 seconds

http://vimeo.com/11480780

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11480780" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11480780">Happenstance</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

This particular video shows a strong visual communication system through the use of symbols and typography. The main message is about how one seemingly small and insignificant decision can define our lives. The video goes on to demonstrate this point through a story about a boy and a girl who meet each other by chance all because one morning the girl accidentally woke up late. The story reinforces that if just one thing had been different the day that they met, they may not have ever gotten the opportunity to meet in the first place. The approach to executing the work is diagrammatic, which makes it easy for the viewer to understand and follow. Rules lead the eye around the screen and a hierarchical system (through color, type size, and weight) is there to help reinforce the order different elements are meant to be seen. By reducing the content to simple iconographic symbols, the message not only becomes clearer, but also more powerful.

The video has a strong concept and no instances of see and say. The cohesive over all feel and smooth transitions make it apparent that the artist paid great attention to detail. Moreover, the music helps add drama at the right moments and solidifies the piece, along with a consistent color palette. The pacing works as well and plenty of good animation comes from constructing and deconstructing the typography. In terms of critique, there is not much that needs changing, just minor tweaks.

At 0:17 the brackets around the numbers get cut off screen. They are not cut off enough to look intentional so the best way to fix this would be to shrink them down so they both fit on screen or cut them off more drastically.

At 0:24 the “To” drops down arbitrarily, which is strange. A better treatment would be for it to extend off the dotted line instead.

At 0:25 the diagonal line leading off of the “E” in “Change” doesn’t function very effectively because there are no other diagonals on screen and the type doesn’t follow the line to the next screen. Instead both line and type just randomly fade away. A better transition is necessary here to help unify the two scenes and add more dynamics.

At 0:27 the word “Everything” should not fade out leaving only a small red dot on the screen. Instead the type should remain and then disappear after the camera zooms in on the dot.

At 0:35 the way the boy and girl and their respective symbols appear on screen should match but they don’t. The boy shows up before the symbol that represents him while the girl shows up after the symbol that represents her.

At 0:40 the “411” is barely visible because of the white color it has been given. The artist needs to amp up the contrast just a little more. Also the bullets should wait to appear until the text does. It doesn’t make much sense for them to show up beforehand like they currently do.

At 1:12 the man’s symbol is a bit too close to the edge of the screen so that it doesn’t look asymmetrically balanced. It would be better to scoot the type over to the left.

At 1:26 the black and red colors would look better flipped with one another inside the bracket containing the words, “Might not have met” so that the brackets are black and the word “NOT” is in red.

At 1:34 the word “Define” seems too heavy in weight next to the other type. The word should be toned down in contrast. Also the alignment is funky because “Our lives” doesn’t line up with anything. In addition, the “L” juts up into the negative part/counter of the “N” creating awkwardness. 

FINAL Paperclip Video October 25

FINAL Paperclip Video October 22

Video Critique Number 8

Video Critique Number 8
October 22, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

http://vimeo.com/11764477

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11764477" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11764477">Learning How to Survive the Next 4 years</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Title: Learning How to Survive the Next 4 Years

1 Minute and 15 seconds

The big idea or over arching concept for this video deals with how to survive the next four years of college life while in the communication design program and the implications that will follow as a result. The work takes on an informative tone and educational stance presenting the viewer with several figures/statistics in a visually compelling way. The idea is original, clever, and well executed through a combination of typography, illustration, photography, and video. The work is also highly entertaining for the viewer, with a good choice of music, sounds, and voiceovers in addition to being aesthetically pleasing. The creator avoids see and say and there is careful attention to detail, good mix of pacing and transitions, and a set hierarchy to follow. It is further helpful that the different elements are aligned and arranged in a sophisticated way based on a grid system (nothing is arbitrarily placed).

There are not too many things to fix with this piece. A little too much time is spent over all on still pictures going from one end of the screen to the other, and I feel more time should be dedicated to deconstructing typography and illustrations because that is where more visual interest resides. The ending is also a bit weak and doesn’t really tie the entire video together (almost like the video is a “filler” to take up time because it goes on too long). The video also makes it hard to discern what is happening with the strange, dramatic lighting flashing in the background while people dance.

At 0:04 the word “Stoked” has a strange entrance effect. The italics is bothersome because that type treatment doesn’t frame the square image as nicely. There is already an emphasis on the word “Stoked” just by coloring it red. The italics is not really necessary and actually ends up making the word over exaggerated, drawing too much focus and attention.

At 0:08 the tracking between the words “You can say that again” is too spread out. This happens again at 0:11 with the word “Drinks.”

At 0:24-28 the ruler/baselines appear well before the type saying “Success equals hard work” and it doesn’t make sense as to why they don’t both show up on screen together.

At 0:37 the “&” between “Coffee” and “Tea” is too small

At 0:41 the type lock up doesn’t work as nicely as in some of the other cases because the “90” is more curvilinear than the rest of the words. The leading could also be shrunk down a few points. Moreover, the hierarchy is confusing. Right now the type reads “Sleep in min. increments 90” instead of “Sleep in 90 minute increments.”

At 0:51 – 1:00, the pictures moving across screen go too slowly and are too dull/boring in comparison to the rest of the piece. The artist could either add an effect as they go across screen or speed up the part entirely.

At 1:01 there is too much space between the words “And” and “Most.” Also, this whole block of text should leave the screen before the video starts up rather than waiting to disappear.

At 1:02 – 1:15 Dancing segment at the end not only lasts too long but also is hard to read and discern what is going on. The type that shows up on top of the flickering light is an ineffective treatment and way to handle its placement. The artist could further animate the type so it does more than just appear and fade away adding more dynamics and interest.

October 20th Paperclip Video with Audio

Paperclip In Progress October 18th

Video Critique Number 7

Video Critique Number 7
October 15, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

http://vimeo.com/11743005

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11743005" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11743005">Pan Ector Industries</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Title: Pan Ector Industries

47 seconds

This piece demonstrates the proper sequence when screen printing for a company and the ways to go about producing a shirt. The concept centers on the fact that there are many options, but in general, there is a logical sequence to follow. The way the illustrations appear on screen resembles the workings of a slot machine. I’m not entirely sure of the connection but I think the artist was trying to show that making a shirt, like playing slots, involve many choices, and until the very end you never know which one you will end up with.

The video contains a nice sense of unity, a tasteful color palette, and design language that is simple and easy to understand. The jargon is in fact very good: casual and catchy. The hierarchy is clear, the typefaces chosen are legible, and the illustration style is a nice touch. However, over all the video is too dull and unexciting. Pacing is too slow and the transitions are not dynamic enough to retain attention and make the work memorable. The work needs variety. Things could get changed up a bit from scene to scene so that is not as predictable, but still remain cohesive through consistent type choices, colors, and other treatments. Maybe even some audio could enhance it, be it a voiceover or individual sound effects from time to time (a nice compliment to the music already playing). Nevertheless, the creator did pay fairly good attention to details and the work is aesthetically pleasing. He/she avoided see and say as well.

Some suggestions are: The intro could be strengthened by altering how things reveal themselves instead of just appearing one by one with a simple wipe down on screen.

At 0:02 there could be a zoom in or more focus to highlight the details on the backboard that says “Live Screen Printing $15.” The artist could have taken more liberty to deconstruct this because there are many components in backboard alone to worth with.

At 0:03 it is bizarre how the icons appear on screen by coming up from the bottom and spinning into their respective boxes. It would make more sense to already be spinning and slowly revealing themselves in the actual boxes from the start.

At 0:08 the zoom in to reveal the type leaves the last two letters of the headline still showing which makes for a weird cut off. To remedy this, those two letters shouldn’t be on screen at all (just the paragraph/copy of text that follows). Also, the pacing here is slow and it doesn’t take that much time to read a few quick lines of copy.

At 0:11 the brown box on the bottom right hand corner flashes for no apparent reason and this treatment is not repeated anywhere else (mistake rather than intentional).

At 0:12 the text is not lined up with the crossbar of the “T.” And at similar screens later on in the presentation alignment issues resurface again (at 0:21 and 0:28 seconds).

At 0:18 the appearance of type doesn’t work (zoom in and expand) and it ends up showing through part of the previous heading.

At 0:37 it would be nice to be able to see the icons animated rather than just remaining stagnant. The t-shirt could be moving and look like it is coming out of a printer. Also, the other icons don’t get the same treatment as the t-shirt (there is no zoom in for them), creating an inconsistency.

At 0:41 the ending is weak. The simple wipe down seems too PowerPoint like. Even the way Pan Ector Industries shows up at 0:44 seconds is too boring. The ending is a time to make a lasting impression and there is none to be found here.

October 15 Paperclip In Progress

October 13 In Progress Video

Paperclip in Progress Video October 11

Video Critique Number 6

Video Critique Number 6
October 8, 2010 | Melanie Lerner

http://vimeo.com/11481046

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11481046" width="400" height="400" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11481046">Mack the Knife</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/cdes">Communication Design at UNT</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Title: Mack the Knife (from Vimeo)

1:09 seconds

This video is highly catchy and entertaining with a song (about Mackie being back in town) nicely complimenting the animation. There is no real storyline per say or concept/theme, as it seems random phrases, names, and words appear together, but the piece does flows well. There is great attention to detail, seamless transitions, and a good bit of work spent on constructing and deconstructing typography. The pacing is well done, and the solid colored backgrounds interspersed from time to time definitely add for a nice contrast to the rest of the transitions in the piece, and the repetition in revealing the colored squares helps unify the work. There is an old time beat to the video with traditional sounding music, fused with modern/simplistic typography and illustration style. The video over all is successful, is aesthetically pleasing, and not see and say. In fact most of the video is done completely through typography, except for the opening section.

The main issues with the piece are that there are many instances of bad tracking and spacing between words. These awkward gaps of negative space detract from the video but could easily be fixed. Also there seems to be an awful lot of different typefaces incorporated into a short span of time. I’m not sure if this is entirely necessary. It might be more effective and cohesive for the artist to decide on 3 and then reuse them throughout.

Another area of concern is that the order in which type appears and is arranged on screen. The hierarchy seems a bit backwards. Rather than following the eye’s natural course of direction (top to bottom/left to right), the artist has changed things up. Words appear from bottom to top and in the reverse order. I don’t know if this is intentional but it does make it a bit confusing for the viewer to follow along. All in all though, the piece is well crafted, has a good color palette, and is fun to watch.

At 0:05 there should be a more interesting way for the bird to enter on screen besides suddenly appearing. Even flying in from one side would add a sense of motion and dynamics that would help.

At 0:15 there is a strange mix of typefaces and weight of those typefaces between the words, “Lies a body.” There are also tracking issues that need to be adjusted (too big of a gap right now). Tracking issues are again apparent at 0:24 in the spacing between the words “Is that” and again at 0:17-18 with the words “oozing life.”

Between 0:18-21 the effect used is PowerPoint like and resembles a 3-D cube turning from one side to another. There is probably a better way to demonstrate something sneaking around a corner. For example the type could come in slyly and disappear a few times or just a peak in bit by bit.

At 0:25 the question mark that is resting across the word “Knife” seems arbitrarily placed and doesn’t fit in well. The placement and negative space is awkward as well as forced and consequently distracts the viewer.

At 0:30 the word “Right” doesn’t align with any of the natural thresholds in the word “The.”

At 34-38 there is too much space between the words, “The cement’s just for the weight dear.”

At 0:56 the name “Polly Peacham” is executed in two different typefaces that don’t go with one another. “Polly” is altogether too faint.

The ending at 1:07 is weak and zooming in on the “C” in “Back” is strange. There should be another focal point to end on or maybe a different type of transition/effect to use altogether.

Paperclip October 8th Video Critique